Spouse Calls blog

There's that point in a move when there is no light at the end of the tunnel -- at either end. It feels like the transition is endless: Can't remember when it started and can't project when it will be over. In some moves, this experience hits harder than others. This was one of those moves for me.

I almost didn't recognize myself in the middle of that dark tunnel. What happened to the "real" me, the one who knows everything will turn out right?

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I wrote this week's Spouse Calls column while visiting my hometown in Oklahoma. I was shamlessly sipping cappucino, writing about the "Small World" of military life, while my daughter slaved away at driver's education class. When her class was over, I picked her up and took her to get a burger at the local Braum's.

As we walked in, Jessie did a classic double take and said "That looks like ... but it can't be."

"Can't be who?" I asked.

"Miss Cathy."

I looked and immediately saw the woman, who was either Jessie's dance teacher in Ramstein, Germany, or a dead ringer, down to wardrobe and hairstyle.

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Dateline: Cincinnati. I'm sitting in a lounge provided for military members and families by the airport, local volunteers and donors -- a godsend in the midst of a six-hour layover before our nine-hour flight to Frankfurt. My two children and I are surrounded by other military family members, some sleeping, reading or watching television, each waiting for the next leg of the journey.

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“As a (Navy) reservist, I'm often asked what my ‘day job’ is,” writes Jeff Pizanti, a stay-at-home dad in California. Responses to his career choice vary from, “That’s nice, but I could never do that” to “You must be having a blast,” he said.

Jeff, a Navy spouse, posted some of his experiences here on the SC blog, and also shared some of his experiences via e-mail.

The July 26 Spouse Calls column details more of my conversations Jeff and other stay at home military dads. Each seemed more concerned about his family’s needs than the counterculture nature of his choices, in spite of some people’s reactions

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When Missoula Children's Theatre comes to town, it takes 50 to 60 local children and turns them into the stars of a musical production in just one week. I sat in on some rehearsals for "The Princess and the Pea" when the MCT was here at my base a couple of weeks ago. Click here to read the July 19 Spouse Calls from back stage.

The Missoula Children's Theatre site at www.mct.org has more information about how the program works, where it is going and also about the local organization, based in Missoula Montana.

Here are some of the scheduled MCT events at overseas military bases:

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This week's Spouse Calls column was all about when birthdays and PCS's collide, as they do often for my daughter, Jessie. She is Sweet Sixteen today! Happy Birthday Jessie!

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Christmas isn't the only season for remembering service members overseas, especially since military life and deployments continue through every holiday all year long.

Project Rudolph, which provides gift bags for patients at the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, deployed troops and those passing through the Ramstein Air Base terminal on their way downrange, plans year round for their December gift-giving season.

For those living in the Kaiserslautern Military Community, contributing to the program is as easy as checking out their yard sale July 11 or helping to prepare bags on the 25th. In 2008, Project Rudolph reports that 8,000 gift bags were distributed to soldiers, sailors, airman and Marines, utilizing only volunteers and donations.

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It's that time of year: PCS season. Whether we are moving or not, in a military community, there is no escape. Either we are moving or some of our friends are moving, or both. This year for me it's both, and this is the part I dread the most: saying "good-bye." We will be among the last of our PCSing friends to leave our assignment this summer, so we are spectators at the painful parade of departures, enduring the season of "lasts" with everyone who is leaving. Last chapel service, last dinner at a favorite restaurant ...

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* Fanfare: With a big party to say it to everyone at one time * Finality: Make a point to say a last farewell to friends individually * Fade Away: Prefer not to make a big deal of departure, just leave quietly

School's out and the kids are home. Do they have too much time on their hands? Mine are managing to stay quite busy -- and keep me the same --  but the season is young. I have come across some ideas for filling some of the lazy days of summer if they get too lethargic:

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This week's Spouse Calls covers a book written especially for military dads. Armin Brott, author of several books for fathers, talks about his book and about the special challenges of a military fatherhood, particularly during deployment. Brott also writes a column, Ask Mr. Dad, and offers parenting advice via radio, television and the internet.

Click here to read a post from a military stay at home dad on the Spouse Calls blog, here and 

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No more lunches to pack for the rest of the summer. School is out, and graduation is behind us. When classes resume this fall, I will have one less lunch to pack, as the oldest of my three children will be away at college. We are moving to another assignment in Germany, but he will be in the U.S. to begin his freshman year.

Friends and readers of my column will know this has been much on my mind lately, as I've already written about the subject of children growing up and the process of preparing for a military child to go to college.

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